Supercharged-ZQ8
03-11-05, 09:40 AM
I don't know how true this is (it WAS from an email, after all), but it definitely is funny!
This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen
submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas. They hired him too because he was so honest and funny.
NAME: George Martin
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right Woman (or at least,
one who'll cooperate).
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But
seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I
wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and We
can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: I t sucked.
HOURS AVAILAB! LE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30p. m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a
more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be
"Do You have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be
a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell Me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no, on my breaks - no.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in
theBahamaswith a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who
thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to
be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Oh Yes, Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Gemini
This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen
submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas. They hired him too because he was so honest and funny.
NAME: George Martin
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right Woman (or at least,
one who'll cooperate).
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But
seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I
wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and We
can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: I t sucked.
HOURS AVAILAB! LE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30p. m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a
more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be
"Do You have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be
a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell Me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no, on my breaks - no.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in
theBahamaswith a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who
thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to
be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Oh Yes, Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Gemini