OBI WAN
03-25-05, 10:30 AM
Welcome to Texas, where the Men are men, the women are too, and the sheeps' assholes are sore!"
Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? So the sheep won't hear the zipper.
Two sheep herders are flying the herd to a new farm. Suddenly, the engine fails and the plane begins to fall quickly to the ground. SH1: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump! SH2: What about the sheep?!? SH1: **** the sheep!!!! SH2: (pause) Do you think we have time?
So the cowboy goes out to seek his fortune on the frontier of the old West. He finally settles on a ranching town near the very edge of civilization. So near, in fact, that there aren't any women to be found for love nor money. Well, he's young and full of hormones, and after a month, he starts getting randy, so he goes to the saloon to ask around. After a couple of sort of nervous, whispered conversations, it comes out that you use the sheep. Well, our hero isn't real happy about this, but he's really desperate. He buys a bottle to nerve himself up. He goes and finds the nearest flock, and decides that if he's going to do this at all, he's going to do it right. He spends most of the afternoon picking out the prettiest sheep in the flock. He shampoos her wool and ties ribbons around her neck. Puts a little bell on her collar. He's also getting pretty drunk. By evening, he's done cleaning up the sheep, and not thinking real clearly. He's so proud of the way the sheep looks, he decides to take her in to town and show her off at the saloon. He walks in with the sheep, and the room goes quiet. Everybody's staring at the guy. And not just staring, but kinda recoiling in shock and horror. He's ashamed, but he's drunk enough; he slurs out, "Whassamada, I thought ever'body went out to the sheep?" Finally, one old timer pipes up. "Yeah, boy, but you got the _sherrif's_ girl."
Why do Texas sheep farmers wear green rubber boots? So they can stick a sheep's back legs into them. Prevents them from running away while they're getting screwed.
Why do Texas sheep farmers like to screw sheep on the edge of cliffs? Because they push back so nicely.
How do you get virgin wool? From ugly sheep.
If a sheep is a ram and a mule is an ass, how come a ram in the ass is a goose?
Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? So the sheep won't hear the zipper.
Two sheep herders are flying the herd to a new farm. Suddenly, the engine fails and the plane begins to fall quickly to the ground. SH1: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump! SH2: What about the sheep?!? SH1: **** the sheep!!!! SH2: (pause) Do you think we have time?
So the cowboy goes out to seek his fortune on the frontier of the old West. He finally settles on a ranching town near the very edge of civilization. So near, in fact, that there aren't any women to be found for love nor money. Well, he's young and full of hormones, and after a month, he starts getting randy, so he goes to the saloon to ask around. After a couple of sort of nervous, whispered conversations, it comes out that you use the sheep. Well, our hero isn't real happy about this, but he's really desperate. He buys a bottle to nerve himself up. He goes and finds the nearest flock, and decides that if he's going to do this at all, he's going to do it right. He spends most of the afternoon picking out the prettiest sheep in the flock. He shampoos her wool and ties ribbons around her neck. Puts a little bell on her collar. He's also getting pretty drunk. By evening, he's done cleaning up the sheep, and not thinking real clearly. He's so proud of the way the sheep looks, he decides to take her in to town and show her off at the saloon. He walks in with the sheep, and the room goes quiet. Everybody's staring at the guy. And not just staring, but kinda recoiling in shock and horror. He's ashamed, but he's drunk enough; he slurs out, "Whassamada, I thought ever'body went out to the sheep?" Finally, one old timer pipes up. "Yeah, boy, but you got the _sherrif's_ girl."
Why do Texas sheep farmers wear green rubber boots? So they can stick a sheep's back legs into them. Prevents them from running away while they're getting screwed.
Why do Texas sheep farmers like to screw sheep on the edge of cliffs? Because they push back so nicely.
How do you get virgin wool? From ugly sheep.
If a sheep is a ram and a mule is an ass, how come a ram in the ass is a goose?